Sex on the bitch does sex in the club

The days of "Hey baby, what's your sign?" seem to have fled the building. As any clubber knows, the best pick up line, is a discreet one.


Which is why when I - Ashlyn, more fondly known as Ash - go to the party of the week, I'm always colleting a mental note of the best lines.

Now, we all know the classic Scenester. Always bringing up music knowing any scene girl will be a sucker. "Hey, weren't you at that Cobra Starship concert last week?" Yup, it's a classic. Bring in the concert, because no matter what her answer is, you've just started the perfect topic of conversation.

If she says yes, not only have you learnt her music style, but you've insinuated you have the same style. And if she says no, then in clever guy fashion you can recover with a reference to free tickets and how terrible the band was live. Once again impressing her with how much you "really" have in common.

Too bad those scene boys didn't know what was coming ;) Now I'm always up for a good fuck, and everyone loves a boy with long silky hair to grab on to... So when Emo sceneboy Darren approached me, I knew he thought I was a sucker; I knew even more so, that HE was about to be suckered.

I let him play me using a line like
Darren: "oh, that shirt's Clandestine right, Pete Wentz's line?"
Nope fool, this shirt is Salvation Army, the poor person line.
Ash: "Yah! Good call, I love Pete Wentz, his lyrics are so great!"
Could I BE any more obvious stereotypical new age emo?! Sucker believed every word.

Now this is why my friends say I tend to pull a "Tucker Maxx." I let Darren control the conversation, and then I let him take me out of the bar, and back to his place. Scenester Brooklyn of course.

It deserves to be mentioned that there were two reasons why I had no issue being led to his apartment. One, Darren was good looking, the great side parted hair, the light eyes, and the emo expressions. Two, Darrens tight pants and little boy band shirt screamed "look at me, I loved The Get Up Kids before it was cool!" I guess I have a soft spot for the emo loser.

Poor Darren, I almost feel bad for the series of events that followed. He played Ozma to set the mood, I claimed to love it and we started getting it on. I took off Darrens nice expensive tight girl jeans, and well, I guess I said the wrong thing..
"Oh my god. No wonder you can fit into girls pants. You don't really need the extra crotch space!"

Oops.

Nothing better than a blow to a man's ego.

Well, now being horny and expeted to get laid, I played it off saying I was used to overly large cocks, and we got to where we were getting.

But no one plays Ash, and poor Darren should have known of my reputation.

I'm sure he knows of it now ;)

When we woke in the morning, I hope it wasn't too much of a suprise when he found his expensive girl jeans to be missing. In their place was a pair of baggy Route 66's I had bought that morning at K-Mart when he was sleeping. I left a kind note of thanks...

"Thanks for a great pair of jeans! Maybe with more room for your cock to breath, it might actually begin to grow! Good luck with that ;)
PS - Ozma's a tool"

To this day I haven't seen Darren on the scene again... But I still wonder if he ever wore those jeans...

The official first post

I've been called a bitch.

And I am.

Just remember, keep your friends close, and keep me closer.

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Blog of personal kinky's and music videos. There's nothing better than sex, and rock n roll!

-- Ash